Katniss Everdeen: The Biggest Mary Sue Of All
by DuckShadow12517
Summary: At 11, her father was killed. She has not one but two guys fighting over her. She's smart, she's pretty, she's a terrible people person but everyone loves her. She knows how to hunt, she's a dead-eye bow shooter, she's great with throwing knives. Wait, isn't that a Mary Sue? Even Peeta knows that... K for Humor!
1. Intro to Sues

** Just a funny lil idea I thought of while rereading the Hunger Games for the third time. Katniss really is a Mary Sue. Trust me. Read the Hunger Games, I'm not lying. I don't hate her or anything, I actually like Katniss. So, please R&r and keep in mind this is purely for humor. **

Before we begin, dear readers, let us delve deeply into the magic of Mary Sues…

Mary, what would our world be without them? Mine and yours. My world is chock full of them. But this guide is merely focusing on the largest Sue of them all. Katniss. Of course, if she found out I wrote this, I'm pretty sure she'd kill me…anyways.

I'll start by defining a Mary Sue. (**This is my made up definition guys, bear with me.) **A Mary Sue or Gary Stu as boys are called, are (In the fan fiction world of course) characters created by the author with extremely awesome abilities. They usually have sob story backgrounds, guys instantly fall in love with them (Or girls), they are beautiful, they have many, many, many skills, and in the case of the Hunger Games, they always win. They also have some uber important reason why they have to win.

There's Hunger Game Mary Sue's in a nutshell.

Anyways, think about it. If Katniss were a character created in the world of Fanfiction, she'd instantly be pegged as a Mary Sue. Some are easy to find. I've taken the liberty to write short story's with examples. Of course, I'm more of a baker than a writer, so bear with me.

_When I was six, my mother was murdered by Peacekeepers. My father, fueled by anger, has spent my other 11 years training me hard for this moment. I knew how to hunt. I knew how to read and write and multiply. I was smarter than Einstein for Panem's sake! Whoever that was. I was super clever too. He always filled my head with bitter speeches about the horrors of the Capitol. This year I'm going to volunteer. No one else should have to suffer this like my elder brother did. Did I mention he was reaped and killed in last year's games? _

_ Anyways, as I listened for District's 12s girl reaping, Effie selected the girl. _

_ "Primrose Everdeen." _

_ A twelve year old. No one should ever have to suffer this like my brother, mother, and father did. And so I did the unimaginable. I volunteered for this girl I've never heard of. Because I'm nice like that. _

See that. That right there is a fine example. Notice the tragic tale. The heartbreaking story. Oh please everything about this SCREAMS Sue. And of course Peeta or Cato is going to fall head over heels in love with this nobody with a big heart.

So this is only the beginning of why my true love is in fact, a Mary Sue.

Sincerely,

Peeta Mellark

**This isn't going to be super long. Probably less than 10 chapters. Please R&r! I'll give you cookies with lots of (poison) love! Haha, enjoy!**


	2. Katniss Story

** Thanks for reviewing! Unfortunately, my internet's been all weird, so I'm not sure when I can properly update. Please continue to R&r!**

Dear whoever's reading this;

Ok, Katniss almost found my folder. Perhaps I should explain more. I'm compiling a folder of evidence against her to prove once and for all that's she's a Mary Sue. Maybe I'll enlist the help of Prim, but I doubt she'll find that funny. Anyways. Remember our story yesterday. The one where everything about the girl screamed Sue? No? Wow you guys can be forgetful. So, here it is again…

_When I was six, my mother was murdered by Peacekeepers. My father, fueled by anger, has spent my other 11 years training me hard for this moment. I knew how to hunt. I knew how to read and write and multiply. I was smarter than Einstein for Panem's sake! Whoever that was. I was super clever too. He always filled my head with bitter speeches about the horrors of the Capitol. This year I'm going to volunteer. No one else should have to suffer this like my elder brother did. Did I mention he was reaped and killed in last year's games? _

_ Anyways, as I listened for District's 12s girl reaping, Effie selected the girl. _

_ "Primrose Everdeen." _

_ A twelve year old. No one should ever have to suffer this like my brother, mother, and father did. And so I did the unimaginable. I volunteered for this girl I've never heard of. Because I'm nice like that. _

Once again, all the obvious signs of a Sue. So, let me write down Katniss' story.

_When I was eleven, my father was blown to bits in a mine. I have spent the last five years hunting, which gives me expert marksmanship. I'm also skilled with a knife. I'm fast, and I'm smart. This year, my sister's name is only entered once. Since I'm the protagonist and the whole series is centered on me, there's probably a chance something is going to happen to her. _

_ My mother is never around, my best friend is drop dead gorgeous but I really don't care. Everyone pities me and apparently loves me. Though I also mentioned that people barely tolerated me. _

Every word in those paragraphs was true. Notice the striking similarities to paragraph one? Wow. Mind blowing. I know.

Any who; I think my mom is calling me; I'll write more later. Peace, love, and sourdough,

Peeta Mellark

**Well, there's chapter two! Please R&r! Remember guys, this is humor. If you think it's a bash at Katniss that's fine. Bakers gonna bake, Drivers gonna drive, Haters gonna hate. =)**


	3. Knife

** Oh man thanks for reviewing guys it means so much. This chapter is to prove something that many people pointed out. You'll see, I have the power of QUOTES! Hahahahah…cough, anyways, please R&r! **

Well, I have noticed several peoples pointing out one vital problem with my theory. Katniss doesn't throw knives. That's where you're wrong. You see, when I bought my limited edition signed by Peeta Mellark himself, oh wait, I'm Peeta. Who was that guy signing books then? Hmm.

Anyways, please pull out your books. I myself have the hardcover edition so I'm not sure if the page numbers are the same as it but anyways. Page 57. "When he turns back to reach for the sprites, I drive my knife in the table between his hand and the bottle, barely missing his fingers." That was just an intro. "Can you hit anything else with that knife besides a table?"

"The boy and arrow is my weapon. But I've spent a fair amount of times throwing knives as well." And finally.

"I yank the knife out of the table, get a grip on the blade, and throw it into the wall across the room. I was actually hoping to get a good solid stick, but it lodges between the seams of two panels."

Mind-blowing I know. But, it had to be done. So there's your proof. Unfortunately, if Katniss ever found out I wrote this, I will be murdered on the spot. So, I'm going incognito from now on. I'm changing my name to Pita Melark. Flawless, I know.

Well, anyways, I hope you enjoyed this segment of Mary Sueing, can that be a verb? It should be. Anyways, Pita out!

Pita Melark

**Hmm, ok, Alligators gonna aligate, um, Pita gonna pitate, and haters gonna hate. That's all I got today, =)**


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